I have had a hard time getting going today. It was rough getting out of bed, but in a bonus today, with the schools being out, my commute was light. That is a small blessing in disguise. Still, it’s after noon, and I could nap for the rest of the day.Today has been filled with the same theme in my head, transformation. During this Lent, I have found myself reading more conversion stories of people coming into the Church, and really getting into the Liturgy on a daily basis. Some days are better than others, but I have found that I am fascinated with the history and how people are coming to the same conclusion I am. The Church makes me feel at home.
That does not mean that I still don’t struggle within my own faith. I still find myself questioning everything. Sometimes I find myself doing research on a topic, just to make sure I am on the right track. Thank God I can pray about it. It seems very simple, to be able to apply all the Church’s teachings, but it is something that you have to work at, and remember that the ethical code you are trying to live by is not something that you control. It is out of your hands, and in God’s hands. So, it comes full circle, in order to be fulfilled, you have to give everything up to God. It is so simple, yet, so difficult at the same time, for a person who needs to feel in control like me. Reading other’s struggles has helped me to realize that I am not alone in this confliction that I have within me. It has helped me to think rationally and know that my faith is exactly where it should be at this very moment, and growing everyday.
Lord, thank you for all the blessings that you have given to me, my family, and my friends. I pray that you continue to give me the clarity to continue to be strong, and to find wisdom in your words everyday. Amen.