While I Was Away

So I have taken a few days off from writing. It probably was not the best thing for me to do, but nonetheless, I was on a bit of a hiatus from blogging. I did notice something strange being away from it………….

I started with unplugging from everything. Friday night, I did not get on the internet at all. That was a nice break, since I have a habit of reading news….. which is depressing at times. Saturday, I was just dead tired….. But then, I started to feel old feelings start creeping back in. A feeling of a lack of purpose.

When I write, it is a sense of release. I can actually focus and get my mind to stay put, even if just for a few seconds. This blog turned into my outlet over the season of Lent. I try to focus on a spiritual passage, or the Catholic reading for the day, and that helped me to get my inner messages across.  Being away from it the last few days… I have missed that. I found it sort of a sense of loss. I really can not describe it. I guess this is what is meant by having a passion for something.

Since we are still celebrating Easter in the Catholic Church, my feeling of loss kind of hit home to me on the way into work. This is what is must have felt like when Jesus died. All of a sudden, the teacher you have been with for months was just gone. The inspiration that you had right next to you, even if the ones with him didn’t fully understand the message at the time, is just in an instant, not there anymore. Obviously, Jesus was still there, and still speaking to his followers, even though it was in a different way, but still, they had to cope with that. I got it, I had something in my life that I was doing that inspired me, yet, it was gone, even for that brief moment, it felt different and awkward. It makes it hard to believe that you will get back any sense of what you had while it was there in front of you. In a sense, I had a feeling like you would have in any lost relationship. It is strange to say that, but that is what the feeling was like.

So, in that loss, I realized that I can not take that much time off from writing again. It is nice to have this outlet, and hopefully know that others enjoy reading it, and may actually get something out of it.

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