Last night, the Rosary I ordered arrived. Nothing special, just a very good sturdy wood Rosary. It is the first one that I have bought for myself. I have had others that were given to me, but this one I went out and looked for. I have had a calling to get one for a couple weeks, but the decision was solidified by my confession on Saturday. Father asked me to pray the Rosary for my Grandmother. Well, that would require me to either find my others (and St. Anthony only knows where they are), or ordering a new one. So, yesterday, one day removed from her Funeral Mass, it arrived.For those of you who are not Catholic, the Rosary is a wonderful item we use to help pray. It is very spiritual based, and in some ways, pretty ridged when you first start using it. For me, I have never prayed the Rosary until this morning. To be honest, I had no clue what I was trying to do. Honestly, I had it in my hand, and was praying while I was driving into work this morning. It is going to take some work to get it down, that is for sure. There are many stories of it helping in the prayer life for others, which is why I am taking an interest in it.
As I was meditating this morning, it hit me. I wish I would have done this years ago, to be honest. Thanks to my depression, my mind can get going one hundred miles a minute, faster than any machine sometimes, but you know, this forced me to slow down and concentrate. Don’t get me wrong, I was pretty all over the place still, but it was better than anything that I have run across in a long time. I have tried music, listening to people meditate on tape (yeah, showing my age right there), locking myself away from everyone and trying to be still, and just about anything else you can think of. The challenge for me has always been the focus, and the experience that I should be getting out of it. With all of those, I have been left not fulfilled in many ways.
So, there, on the way into work, I finally felt a little something, and my mind slowed down just for a brief moment. Not all the way and maybe only for a quarter mile, but I found stillness and peace in it. It was such a great experience, I had to share it with everyone. It has not solved all of the issues that I have in life, with my afflictions, or anything else, but it did, in that fraction of a second give me a little more hope that I had yesterday, that I can actually beat back the demons in my head and maybe, just maybe, I can get my mind to be in tune properly. I know this is not a cure-all, nor is it something that will change everything right now. Trust me, I have just been trying to find the right combinations in the world to make me feel “normal”. I am not one that usually has these types of experiences, so, when it happens, I tend to listen and go with it. After this week, I was just searching for some kind of sign that I am on the right pathway, and I am taking this as the hint God was giving me this morning.
If you want to learn more, or even are mildly interested in the Rosary itself, you can start here:
You don’t have to be Catholic by the way to do this. There is nothing saying that you can not practice this and maybe get something out of it as well. I encourage everyone to find what works best for them, and I pray that everyone finds a better way to be closer to God on a daily basis. May God Bless and Keep you all.