Jesus said to his disciples:
“I have much more to tell you, but you cannot bear it now.
But when he comes, the Spirit of truth,
he will guide you to all truth.
He will not speak on his own,
but he will speak what he hears,
and will declare to you the things that are coming.
He will glorify me,
because he will take from what is mine and declare it to you.
Everything that the Father has is mine;
for this reason I told you that he will take from what is mine
and declare it to you.” Jn 16:12-15
The world can sometimes come at you from all angles, in an attempt to sideswipe you in your everyday endeavors. I can honestly say, the past few weeks have been just that for me. From business obligations that took me away from my normal routine, to family happenings in general, I have had a wonderful plethora of emotions and activities that is enough to put some individuals six feet under. I, however, have been granted the gift of waking up again today.
Trying to stay humble through all of this has been a challenge, to say the least. Trying not to make the situations and other things all about me, and keeping my life focused on God’s word has been a tough task. It is one that I have handled, sometimes greatly, sometimes poorly, but all in all I think I have made it through o.k. My depressive episodes that normally follow a wonderful time like this has been only a minor blip on the radar of things. Don’t get me wrong, it is there, and yes, I have been out of sorts on occasions, but I am not in a despairing sort of time period. Through this, not once have I dwelled on the fact that I have issues, nor have I felt like I am not worthy of being here. Both of which I would have really done in the past. Instead, I am just taking my nightly prayers to God, and trying to do what everyone else says to do and “let it go”. Humbling myself in front of the Father, rather than letting my own agenda get in the way.
That is the big message that has been playing out for me in this year of Mercy, humbling yourself opens up many pathways to peace. I find myself listening more, opening up cracks for me to find the journey that God is putting me on. I find myself being more in the moment, rather than moving ahead in the story of life. It is a strange feeling, to put wholeheartedly my entire path for the life I am leading in the hands of God. It is one that I can barely put into words, and it is something that is taking A LOT of practice. It is not always easy, but everyday is getting a little easier. The biggest key is trust. Trusting that God will provide always, and to let Him guide the way, even when I feel He is not communicating to me, that is the biggest hurdle to climb in this. I know I was stuck in this stage for a long, long time. I was stuck there because I was using my Earthly logic in terms of God. People in my life have broken trust bonds with me, just as I have done with them, only because we are not perfect. Well, that doesn’t work with God at all, so, I have had to change that point of view for me.
So, today, if nothing else happens, and it even seems to be like God is not talking to me directly, I am going to trust in the fact that He is prepping my journey for tomorrow. I will let the rest of the day play out, be in the moment, and let Him take care of the rest. I pray that everyone can follow me on this journey, and come to find the peace that I have found recently.