Waiting on Signs

Some of the scribes and Pharisees said to Jesus,
“Teacher, we wish to see a sign from you.”
He said to them in reply,
“An evil and unfaithful generation seeks a sign,
but no sign will be given it
except the sign of Jonah the prophet.
Just as Jonah was in the belly of the whale three days and three nights,
so will the Son of Man be in the heart of the earth
three days and three nights.
At the judgment, the men of Nineveh will arise with this generation
and condemn it, because they repented at the preaching of Jonah;
and there is something greater than Jonah here.
At the judgment the queen of the south will arise with this generation
and condemn it, because she came from the ends of the earth
to hear the wisdom of Solomon;
and there is something greater than Solomon here.” Mt 12:38-42

I woke up this morning in a better place. I think I have finally moved over the depressive state for the moment. I didn’t get upset with the alarm clock, so, that is a start. I think I am getting over this cold that I have, and that I think has helped put me into a better mood this morning. Thank goodness, because I can not take too many days of being gloomy anymore, I have too many things going on.

Then, as the wonderful Lord does daily, He put this word in front of me. It got me to thinking about the past few days, and got me to reflecting on this. I think in some respects, I was looking for a sign from Heaven. I was looking for an answer to the reason why I was slipping back into another depressive state and getting sick, when I have all these things going on and deadlines to meet. I was upset because all these things were getting in the way of what I wanted to do, or needed to take care of… yeah, I was upset, and for whatever reason, I wanted to know why I was being kicked while I was in the middle of all of these obligations.

This feeling was false, of course. I should not have questioned what was going on. If I would have, instead just stopped, went back to what I normally do and that is pray and let it go, I would have made it through this faster. Instead, I kept trying to control the situation, and do things that I needed to do. It was not about what We (God and I) needed to accomplish, but all the things that I needed to do. From there, things went downward, and kept going. Thank God I have found the causes and triggers for myself, to be able to stop, reflect, and get back on track again, long before I hit the depression pit. I mean, I did feel the depression coming on, I was gloomy, just ask the family, but I did not recoil into a place of despair, as I have done many times before. No, today, I felt the Grace of the Lord come to me, and today is going to be a good day.

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