Jesus said to the Jews:
“You sent emissaries to John, and he testified to the truth.
I do not accept testimony from a human being,
but I say this so that you may be saved.
John was a burning and shining lamp,
and for a while you were content to rejoice in his light.
But I have testimony greater than John’s.
The works that the Father gave me to accomplish,
these works that I perform testify on my behalf
that the Father has sent me.” Jn 5:33-36
Some days I can really be selfish. I can make it all about me and what I want in life. I know that selfish part of me, when it comes out, it is full of hatred of the world. It is a very blameful part of me, and it tends to make the situation worse. It is a deflection mechanism that I get into, and to be honest, I really shouldn’t. I know that I am apart of something greater than myself, I just forget that.
This passage reminds me of that part of me. I look at it and I can see myself being talked to by Jesus. I can see myself testing John, and thinking, wow this is great. Then I can see myself getting selfish, and not caring. Watching the luster fall off of what it is that I am looking at, and then wanting something else. All worldly, not thinking to remember that God is still calling me to remember, there is something greater. I pains me to think that I can be that way.
I know I was acting this way yesterday, and I just could not pull myself out of the mode. It should have been about my family, but something kept making me bring it back to me. I could not, in that moment, bring myself out of the selfish mode, and it just sunk me into being upset, mean, and not true to myself. I know I did a great disservice to myself, and everyone else. I am sorry for that. I can only pray that today, in those moments, God will intervene and come to my aid. I need Him to help me remember, that it is not about me, it is about something greater than anything on Earth.